Sometimes it’s not the obstacles “out there” that hold us back. It’s the defenses we’ve quietly built inside ourselves.
Limiting beliefs often start as survival tools—stories we tell ourselves to avoid rejection, shame, or humiliation. But what once protected us often ends up imprisoning us. They become invisible fences around our potential.
I know this well.
As someone who has wrestled with social anxiety, I used to believe things like:
“I’ll never be good at connecting with people.”
“I’m too awkward, too sensitive, too different.”
Those thoughts became my armor, but they also became my cage.
What if your biggest “truths” weren’t true at all?
The turning point came when I began feeding my mind with different input—books, interviews, uplifting voices that challenged my inner narrative. Slowly, I started to test the edges of that cage. Attending seminars (online and in-person) was one of my first steps. They gave me structure, low-risk interactions, and a chance to find others who shared my sensitivity and curiosity.
I remember the first seminar I attended in person after months of telling myself, “I’ll never be able to talk to anyone there.” I felt my stomach tighten as I walked into the room. For a moment, I almost turned around and left.
But I stayed. I chose one small action: to simply sit near people and listen. I didn’t have to speak, I didn’t have to impress anyone. I just had to be present. And something surprising happened. A few people smiled at me. One person asked a simple question, and a conversation started. Another person shared something I deeply related to, and suddenly I wasn’t invisible at all.
That day, I realized that the story I’d been telling myself for years—about being awkward, incapable, or unworthy of connection—was a lie. My limiting belief wasn’t reality. It was a script I had memorized and performed, without ever questioning it.
Here’s the unconventional truth: If a belief can hold me back that much, it can also elevate me just as much—if I choose a new one. Every limiting belief is an invitation to rewrite the story you’ve been telling yourself. What if, instead of letting them control you, you deliberately edited them to serve your growth and your freedom?
Unconventional Wisdom from My Journey
Along the way, I discovered a few things about limiting beliefs that go against the usual advice:
You don’t always have to “overcome” a belief; you can simply outgrow it. For years, I thought I had to fight my social anxiety head-on. But what actually helped was focusing on experiences that made me feel alive and curious. In doing so, some of those old beliefs lost their grip naturally.
Not every belief needs to be replaced with a “positive” one. Sometimes, just creating space between you and the belief is enough. For example, instead of telling myself, “I’ll never be good at small talk,” I began saying, “That’s just an old story my brain likes to repeat.” I didn’t have to believe the opposite right away. I just had to stop fusing with the old story.
Your sensitivity isn’t the enemy of limiting beliefs; it’s a compass. I used to think my sensitivity made me weaker. Now I see it as a gift. It allows me to notice the false scripts in my mind faster than most people can. Sensitivity doesn’t make you fragile. It makes you aware.
Beliefs don’t always change in a straight line; they crumble in pieces. One day, you might still feel awkward at a party, and the next day, you surprise yourself by speaking up in a group. That doesn’t mean you’re back to “square one.” It just means the old belief is loosening, piece by piece. Progress rarely looks tidy, but it’s still progress.
Sometimes you have to be “delusional” on purpose. I’ve learned to experiment with believing things that feel just beyond my reach. Not wild fantasies—but stretch beliefs like, “The right people will want to hear from me,” or “I don’t have to be perfect to belong.” At first, they felt like wishful thinking. But the more I practiced them, the more they began to feel true.
Thoughts From Others
“Don’t be a slave to your limiting beliefs. It’s your mind, so take control of it today.”
— Maddy Malhotra
Neuroscience calls this neuroplasticity. Every thought we repeat wires new pathways in our brain. The stronger the repetition, the deeper the groove. The exciting part? We can rewire. Yes, it takes effort, but nothing is more worth rewiring than the stories that govern your life.
“The only limits you have are the limits you believe.”
— Dr. Wayne Dyer
Brian Tracy’s Law of Belief echoes this: we don’t believe what we see—we see what we already believe. Which means our “proof” is often just a reflection of what we’ve already decided.
“Over time, we amass negative beliefs about how life supposedly is... Then we allow these limiting beliefs to stop us from fully living our happiest lives.”
— Karen Salmansohn
Our negativity bias means we’re wired to remember insults over compliments, threats over safety. It helped our ancestors survive. But if we don’t interrupt it, it quietly steals our joy.
Questions For You
Who in your life helps you feel calm, seen, and respected? How do they show it?
Who leaves you feeling on edge, drained, or self-doubting? What patterns do you notice?
What relationship do you need to shift, limit, or let go of—for your well-being?
If you could protect your peace without guilt, what would you do differently?
What would your life look like if every relationship supported your nervous system instead of assaulting it?
Explore more insights on Cliff Harwin’s Highly Sensitive Thoughts Blog. Each post offers encouragement, practical wisdom, and real-life reflections to help you live with greater confidence, calm, and self-understanding.
